On the Buses

Until I moved to London in October 2010 my experience of buses was limited. In Hampshire (where I used to live) the buses tend to be slow, infrequent and expensive with routes and timetable that seem devised to minimise their usefulness. The bus operators in Hampshire habitually send out their vehicles without the means to make change and with drivers seemingly trained to be as awkward as possible.

The net effect is that infrequent passengers, who might not be familiar with the arcane charging structures and indecipherable stop naming practices of the rural bus operators, are often deterred from travelling by the drivers' irrational demands for precise destination information and exact change. The change issue is particularly annoying, especially when, having waited 20 minutes for the bus to arrive in the first place, you're denied a ticket (the cost of which cannot readily be determined before boarding) by a hostile driver unwilling to accept a note.

You may have guessed by now that I have no love for Hampshire's buses, but what about buses in London? Good question.

Bus operators in the metropolis have several advantages over their provincial colleagues, primarily a large customer base. The huge number of people using buses in London allows operators to profit even with much lower ticket prices.

Part of the reason for the large number of travellers is surely the ubiquitous Oyster card, London's RFID payment system. The savings for regular travellers when comparing Oyster tickets (£1.35 per trip) with standard tickets (£2.30) are substantial and encourage everyone to use the fast and convenient Oyster card. Large numbers of people can board buses quickly when everyone pays by touching their card to the reader.

The other big advantage of the London buses is that there are lots of them so you generally don't have to wait too long for the next one to arrive. This lets you to take a relaxed attitude to catching a bus, something that is most definitely not the case in rural locations with only one or two services a day.

Beyond that, of course, things are much the same. The buses themselves are generally fairly uncomfortable, especially when stuck in traffic during hot weather; there's only so much that air conditioning can do to help cool a stationary greenhouse on wheels. Poor suspension and noise insulation make the ride rough (especially in those areas plagued by speed bumps) and loud.

The biggest problem, though, surpassing even the people who play bad music through tinny headphones, are the stinkers. Some people, for reasons unknown, simply don't wash regularly enough to prevent their stench making life unpleasant for their fellow passengers. Above all else, this issue makes travelling by bus an ordeal, especially on a cold day when the windows can't be opened.

This, then, is my request; if you're going to take advantage of London's cheap, reliable and easy-to-use bus network, please wash and deodorise before boarding. That's not too much to ask, is it?