Christmas, Again

Christmas Day, the birthday of Sir Isaac Newton. Today should, before the Julian calendar drifted, fall on the winter solstice, 22nd December. Pope Gregory XIII, demonstrating that pontiffs aren’t all infallible, made a mistake when correcting the drift in 1582 so we are actually three days late. Not a problem unless you’re a calendar-nerd.

Midwinter should be a fun, light-filled festival to celebrate the passing of the longest night and the eventual return of spring. It's archaic, sure, but it's one  of the traditions that binds us as a nation (or culture, depending on how you define these things) and it's a good excuse to indulge in things we enjoy; visiting friends and family, exchanging gifts, recovering from a long year's work and generally relaxing.

Everything would be great if Christmas wasn't attended by a host of unpleasant religious and cultural traditions and anxieties that conspire to take much or all of the fun from the holiday. From the weird Christian traditionalists claiming Christmas is about them and the sone of their psychopathic bronze-age god of war (ok, so the name "Christmas" superficially supports their case but really they've just hijacked the winter solstice of earlier traditions) to the insane commercial imperative to spend like there's no tomorrow, Christmas can be a stressful and difficult period.

Here are the traditions I wouldn't miss:

• Decorated trees - call me Mr Picky but I like to see trees in the wild, not chopped down in their prime for a fortnight's reverence in the corner of the living room. 
• Present buying - giving a carefully-chosen gift and seeing the delight of the receiver is one of life's great joys but doing this year after year is tricky and stress accumulates quickly in the run-up to Christmas. Amazon's wish list feature helps you to avoid unwanted gifts but removes the personal touch and rather defeats the object of the exercise.
• Logistical nightmares - spending time with family is great but sometimes the setup (which parents-in-law do you visit this year, which grandparents, will your visit coincide with a loved/detested cousin's etc.) is horribly complicated. Fitting visits around ritual meals, especially as family traditions vary hugely, adds further complexity.
• Ritual and tradition - I know Christmas is one long sequence of little rituals and traditional activities but many of them are fantastically annoying. Let’s dump the bad, mix up the good and go with the flow.

Any situation where ritual restricts freedom of action is bound to strain relationships and generate stress, especially when mixed with alcohol, over-eating, screaming children and enforced jollity. My “solution” is to disengage as far as possible, which is generally interpreted as “grumpiness” or “awkwardness” even though it’s actually just an attempt to retrieve a little control over my life. I’ll join in with the bits of Christmas I enjoy and skip the rest, preferably behind a good book; if you do the same then we’ll all be happy and we’ll have a great holiday.